Hi Sixers!
It's me your mother. I'm just writing you to say "hi" and let you know I still exist. It's been a while since you've called. Maybe you got a new phone?
Anyway, I was talking to some of my friends in the media, and the topic of marriage came up. Mrs. Lacob son, who's from the Bay Area, just got married a few months ago. Said it was an amazing time. They threw a freakin parade for them!
So I just wanted to write and ask, "So when are you getting married?" I'm worried about you Schmoopy. Ever since you met that guy Sam (Heinke? Is that jewish? Sounds jewish) I just feel like I'm not sure when you're going to get married. It's getting harder and harder to explain to my friends, which makes me sad. I know you'll just say, "I'll know when I know." It would just help your loving mother a lot if you could tell me a date. You do want your mother to be happy right?
Me and your father were fine with you dating that 8th Seed for all those years. I know you said that's not what you wanted and that what you really desired was for real love and being with "Mr. Right," but have you thought about just accepting "Mr. Right Now?" Do we really need to spend all these years looking for someone special if your mother can't have something to tell her Media friends? Maybe you could date a veteran or two for a bit? He could teach some of your younger dates how to be a gentleman and other things that veterans do.
Let me make this clear: I don't want to pressure you. I just want what's best for you! I was online on the facebook the other day and saw that you've been meeting some new guys, which is great and exciting (You can ALWAYS CALL ME and talk about them). You seem to like them young and tall! That Nerlens from Kentucky with the hair looks good. That Jameal from Duke looks promising. And poor Joel!!! What a nice boy. Please let him know your mother and your father are hoping for his recovery. We think he's an angel!!! (You're pretty than Rihanna btw. He's just in a phase).
I know that there's a "process" in all this, and I get it. I really do. I'm just writing to wish you well and remind you that your mother has been with you since you were inside my tummy and that I'll be with you until the very end. Which could be any day now... (I was at the doctor the other day and we had to do some tests. Not sure what they were testing. But WHEN YOU CALL ME we can talk about it and I'll let you know how much longer the doctor said I have. But hurry).
So again, just letting you know that we love you and we want what's best for you. We just think that what's best for you is telling us exactly when you're going to get married. It's been two years of trying, can't you just have all the answers right now?
Love,
Sixer's Mom
P.S.
Call me!!!
P.S.S.
Have you met any Point Guards yet?
No comments:
Post a Comment